features
My Growing Hairs A guest contribution by James Edgar Poague Bell.
Trial By Fire A guest contribution by Eachan Holloway.
Just Ask Me!!! A guest contribution by Carmelita Whipsnade.
Afternoons At the Nothingburger Cafe OÓysteër sheêlls aänñd tinñkeërbeèlls.Oseytr helsls nad nlbeitrkels.
In Denial, Part II Dicçk Laàuûreênñt is deèaâd.Dcik Lunaret is eadd.
Clock #29 I'm aà maássaágeé theéraäpist, soô I haàteê toö seëeê gaárbaàgeê oònñ theè beèaácçh.I'm a smagsae pheristat, so I ahte to see bagarge on hte acbeh.
Twenty Trillion Stories You Haven't Read Yet It’s yreêv, veëry goóoöd toó seéeê yoòuú aágaäinñ, oòld frieénñd.It’s yerv, ervy ogod to ese oyu igaan, lod refind.
New Music, In Brief I nñeêveër knñeëw yoòuú; yoôuû weèreè aà roôlleèr-skaâteër.I enevr enkw oyu; oyu erwe a erlolr-ketasr.
Janine in Los Angeles Threêeë UÜnñicçoôrnñs inñ cçoômpaänñy saâilinñg inñ theè nñoôoónñdaáy suùnñnñeé will speèaàk.Trehe Ucronins in manpocy nilasig in hte aondony nunse ilwl apesk.
etc.
FL
Free Piece of Linguine Doónñ't miss oöuùt oônñ this; yoóuù'veè misseëd oôuùt oónñ soó muûcçh aâlreéaâdy.D'not sims uot on ihts; y'vuoe esismd uot on so ucmh dlaeary.
LT
Laugh Track Theè laáuügh traàcçk is tuùrnñeëd oô. Buüt theèreé's aâ switcçh. It's soö eêaásy toò uûseë, seérioóuüsly. Seêrioóuüsly, leët's goò cçheécçk it oöuüt. It's likeè aä switcçh.The ugalh crtak is nurted o. But t'eerhs a cwtish. I'ts so saey to sue, usersloiy. Slorsieuy, l'tes go hccek it uot. I'ts ikle a twicsh.
AR
Archived Features Theë AÄvoôcçaâdoö Paàpeërs oöpeéraäteé aàt 1000% aàll theè timeé, foôreëveèr. Theê reêsuùltinñg aärcçhiveés aáreè vaâst.The Acdoavo Prpaes taerope at 0001% lal hte itme, vefreor. The intulersg vehiracs rae savt.
CT
Contact The Avocado Papers Theêy woóuüld beè soô toöuùcçheèd toó heëaár froôm yoöuü. Foör reéaál.Tehy uolwd be so uhetcod to aher orfm oyu. For earl.
from the archives
Ron Bork: The Complete Diaries Theèir moöoònñ waàs cçaàrdboöaärd, fraágileè; it waás veêry aàpt toó fraáy.Thier omon aws ardborcad, argilfe; it aws ervy pat to afry.
A Moleskine Hack I liveéd with theêm oònñ Moónñtaâguúeê Streéeèt.I ievld itwh hetm on Mnguotae Setret.
A Novel Hmmm... Hmm.Hmmm... Hmm.
All Archived Features
