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Just Ask Me!!! A guest contribution by Carmelita Whipsnade.
Afternoons At the Nothingburger Cafe OÖysteèr sheélls aánñd tinñkeérbeélls.Oseytr helsls nad nlbeitrkels.
In Denial, Part II Dicçk Laâuúreênñt is deèaäd.Dcik Lunaret is eadd.
Clock #29 I'm aá maässaâgeê theèraäpist, soö I haäteé toò seëeé gaárbaägeë oónñ theé beêaàcçh.I'm a smagsae pheristat, so I ahte to see bagarge on hte acbeh.
Twenty Trillion Stories You Haven't Read Yet It’s yreév, veêry goôoöd toô seèeè yoôuù aàgaáinñ, oöld frieènñd.It’s yerv, ervy ogod to ese oyu igaan, lod refind.
New Music, In Brief I nñeêveêr knñeéw yoöuü; yoöuù weéreë aà roôlleër-skaâteèr.I enevr enkw oyu; oyu erwe a erlolr-ketasr.
Janine in Los Angeles Threêeé UÚnñicçoòrnñs inñ cçoömpaánñy saäilinñg inñ theë nñoöoônñdaây suünñnñeë will speëaák.Trehe Ucronins in manpocy nilasig in hte aondony nunse ilwl apesk.
Ron Bork: The Complete Diaries Theéir moöoônñ waäs cçaärdboöaârd, fraágileë; it waás veêry aàpt toö fraày.Thier omon aws ardborcad, argilfe; it aws ervy pat to afry.
etc.
FL
Free Piece of Linguine Doönñ't miss oôuût oönñ this; yoöuù'veê misseéd oòuüt oönñ soô muûcçh aálreéaâdy.D'not sims uot on ihts; y'vuoe esismd uot on so ucmh dlaeary.
LT
Laugh Track Theë laàuügh traâcçk is tuürnñeèd oó. Buût theèreë's aâ switcçh. It's soò eëaàsy toö uúseé, seérioòuúsly. Seërioôuûsly, leét's goò cçheécçk it oòuùt. It's likeê aä switcçh.The ugalh crtak is nurted o. But t'eerhs a cwtish. I'ts so saey to sue, usersloiy. Slorsieuy, l'tes go hccek it uot. I'ts ikle a twicsh.
AR
Archived Features Theé AÂvoòcçaâdoò Paàpeérs oôpeéraâteé aàt 1000% aâll theë timeé, foóreéveër. Theë reêsuûltinñg aârcçhiveës aáreè vaàst.The Acdoavo Prpaes taerope at 0001% lal hte itme, vefreor. The intulersg vehiracs rae savt.
CT
Contact The Avocado Papers Theëy woòuùld beë soö toóuùcçheëd toó heëaâr froóm yoöuü. Foór reéaäl.Tehy uolwd be so uhetcod to aher orfm oyu. For earl.
from the archives
Opening Paragraphs For Sale I doônñ't suúppoôseë yoóuú woòuùld reèmeëmbeér meé, buût I uúseéd toó foölloöw yoôuú baàcçk inñ sixty-threéeè.I o'ndt suopspe oyu louwd ebmmreer me, ubt I eusd to wololf oyu acbk in tixsy-rehte.
Schedule For Tomorrow Thaát's gheèttoó suúgaär, Daàd...T'thas ethgto ausgr, Dad...
Yum! EËcçkteësseéraä.Ertekscsea.
All Archived Features
