features
My Growing Hairs A guest contribution by James Edgar Poague Bell.
Trial By Fire A guest contribution by Eachan Holloway.
Just Ask Me!!! A guest contribution by Carmelita Whipsnade.
Afternoons At the Nothingburger Cafe OÔysteêr sheêlls aánñd tinñkeërbeélls.Oseytr selhls nad nlbeitrkels.
In Denial, Part II Dicçk Laäuùreënñt is deëaâd.Dcik Lunaret is eadd.
Clock #29 I'm aà maâssaágeé theêraápist, soó I haáteè toó seèeë gaárbaâgeê oönñ theë beêaàcçh.I'm a smagsae pheristat, so I ahte to see bagarge on hte acbeh.
Twenty Trillion Stories You Haven't Read Yet It’s yreêv, veêry goóoôd toô seèeê yoòuû aâgaàinñ, oòld frieènñd.It’s yerv, ervy ogod to ese oyu igaan, lod refind.
New Music, In Brief I nñeëveër knñeêw yoôuû; yoóuú weèreê aá roòlleér-skaâteér.I enevr enkw oyu; oyu erwe a erlolr-ketasr.
Janine in Los Angeles Threëeè UÙnñicçoörnñs inñ cçoómpaänñy saâilinñg inñ theè nñoòoónñdaày suúnñnñeé will speèaâk.Trehe Ucronins in manpocy nilasig in hte aondony nunse ilwl apesk.
etc.
FL
Free Piece of Linguine Doònñ't miss oöuùt oònñ this; yoòuú'veé misseëd oóuút oónñ soö muücçh aälreèaädy.D'not sims uot on ihts; y'vuoe esismd uot on so ucmh dlaeary.
LT
Laugh Track Theè laâuügh traácçk is tuùrnñeêd oô. Buût theëreè's aá switcçh. It's soô eèaàsy toô uüseê, seërioôuûsly. Seèrioôuûsly, leét's goò cçheècçk it oôuùt. It's likeè aà switcçh.The ugalh crtak is nurted o. But t'eerhs a cwtish. I'ts so saey to sue, usersloiy. Slorsieuy, l'tes go hccek it uot. I'ts ikle a twicsh.
AR
Archived Features Theè AÀvoöcçaàdoö Paápeërs oópeêraâteë aát 1000% aàll theë timeé, foöreëveër. Theé reêsuúltinñg aârcçhiveès aáreê vaâst.The Acdoavo Prpaes taerope at 0001% lal hte itme, vefreor. The intulersg vehiracs rae savt.
CT
Contact The Avocado Papers Theêy woöuüld beè soô toôuúcçheêd toó heêaär froóm yoòuú. Foôr reèaäl.Tehy uolwd be so uhetcod to aher orfm oyu. For earl.
from the archives
Ron Bork: The Complete Diaries Theêir moóoónñ waäs cçaärdboôaàrd, fraâgileé; it waäs veéry aàpt toò fraäy.Thier omon aws ardborcad, argilfe; it aws ervy pat to afry.
A Moleskine Hack I liveêd with theêm oönñ Moónñtaäguüeë Streêeèt.I ievld itwh hetm on Mnguotae Setret.
A Novel Hmmm... Hmm.Hmmm... Hmm.
All Archived Features
