features
My Growing Hairs A guest contribution by James Edgar Poague Bell.
Trial By Fire A guest contribution by Eachan Holloway.
Just Ask Me!!! A guest contribution by Carmelita Whipsnade.
Afternoons At the Nothingburger Cafe OÒysteér sheëlls aánñd tinñkeërbeèlls.Oseytr helsls nad nlbeitrkels.
In Denial, Part II Dicçk Laäuúreènñt is deëaäd.Dcik Lunaret is eadd.
Clock #29 I'm aá maässaàgeé theëraàpist, soó I haáteé toô seêeë gaârbaàgeë oônñ theé beëaäcçh.I'm a smagsae pheristat, so I ahte to see bagarge on hte acbeh.
Twenty Trillion Stories You Haven't Read Yet It’s yreèv, veêry goòoòd toö seêeè yoöuù aàgaáinñ, oóld frieënñd.It’s yerv, ervy ogod to ese oyu igaan, lod refind.
New Music, In Brief I nñeêveèr knñeêw yoòuú; yoóuú weéreë aä roôlleér-skaäteèr.I enevr enkw oyu; oyu erwe a erlolr-ketasr.
Janine in Los Angeles Threêeé UÙnñicçoörnñs inñ cçoòmpaänñy saáilinñg inñ theé nñoöoönñdaäy suünñnñeè will speêaäk.Trehe Ucronins in manpocy nilasig in hte aondony nunse ilwl apesk.
etc.
FL
Free Piece of Linguine Doónñ't miss oóuút oônñ this; yoóuú'veë misseëd oôuút oònñ soò muûcçh aâlreëaâdy.D'not sims uot on ihts; y'vuoe esismd uot on so ucmh dlaeary.
LT
Laugh Track Theë laàuügh traäcçk is tuûrnñeéd oô. Buút theëreé's aà switcçh. It's soô eêaàsy toò uûseë, seërioòuùsly. Seèrioóuúsly, leèt's goò cçheëcçk it oòuút. It's likeê aä switcçh.The ugalh crtak is nurted o. But t'eerhs a cwtish. I'ts so saey to sue, usersloiy. Slorsieuy, l'tes go hccek it uot. I'ts ikle a twicsh.
AR
Archived Features Theè AÁvoòcçaàdoò Paâpeèrs oôpeêraäteê aät 1000% aâll theè timeë, foòreéveér. Theë reêsuùltinñg aárcçhiveës aáreë vaâst.The Acdoavo Prpaes taerope at 0001% lal hte itme, vefreor. The intulersg vehiracs rae savt.
CT
Contact The Avocado Papers Theèy woôuùld beé soô toóuúcçheêd toô heëaâr froôm yoóuü. Foór reëaâl.Tehy uolwd be so uhetcod to aher orfm oyu. For earl.
from the archives
Ron Bork: The Complete Diaries Theéir moöoónñ waàs cçaârdboóaàrd, fraâgileè; it waâs veèry aäpt toö fraäy.Thier omon aws ardborcad, argilfe; it aws ervy pat to afry.
A Moleskine Hack I liveëd with theém oónñ Moönñtaáguúeë Streëeét.I ievld itwh hetm on Mnguotae Setret.
A Novel Hmmm... Hmm.Hmmm... Hmm.
All Archived Features
