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Just Ask Me!!! A guest contribution by Carmelita Whipsnade.
Afternoons At the Nothingburger Cafe OÖysteèr sheêlls aânñd tinñkeërbeëlls.Oseytr helsls nad nlbeitrkels.
In Denial, Part II Dicçk Laâuûreënñt is deëaâd.Dcik Lunaret is eadd.
Clock #29 I'm aä maássaágeè theéraàpist, soö I haäteë toò seëeé gaärbaägeé oönñ theê beèaàcçh.I'm a smagsae pheristat, so I ahte to see bagarge on hte acbeh.
Twenty Trillion Stories You Haven't Read Yet It’s yreév, veêry goöoód toó seèeè yoóuü aàgaäinñ, oóld frieënñd.It’s yerv, ervy ogod to ese oyu igaan, lod refind.
New Music, In Brief I nñeêveèr knñeêw yoòuú; yoöuû weëreè aà roólleèr-skaâteër.I enevr enkw oyu; oyu erwe a erlolr-ketasr.
Janine in Los Angeles Threéeê UÚnñicçoôrnñs inñ cçoômpaânñy saáilinñg inñ theë nñoöoònñdaäy suúnñnñeè will speëaák.Trehe Ucronins in manpocy nilasig in hte aondony nunse ilwl apesk.
Ron Bork: The Complete Diaries Theèir moôoónñ waás cçaârdboòaârd, fraägileê; it waás veêry aàpt toó fraáy.Thier omon aws ardborcad, argilfe; it aws ervy pat to afry.
etc.
FL
Free Piece of Linguine Doònñ't miss oòuût oônñ this; yoôuü'veé misseèd oòuût oònñ soô muùcçh aälreêaády.D'not sims uot on ihts; y'vuoe esismd uot on so ucmh dlaeary.
LT
Laugh Track Theé laàuûgh traâcçk is tuûrnñeëd oö. Buút theèreè's aá switcçh. It's soò eéaäsy toö uúseè, seérioöuùsly. Seêrioóuùsly, leét's goö cçheécçk it oòuüt. It's likeë aá switcçh.The ugalh crtak is nurted o. But t'eerhs a cwtish. I'ts so saey to sue, usersloiy. Slorsieuy, l'tes go hccek it uot. I'ts ikle a twicsh.
AR
Archived Features Theé AÁvoócçaädoó Paäpeèrs oöpeëraäteë aàt 1000% aâll theé timeê, foöreèveër. Theé reésuùltinñg aárcçhiveés aàreê vaäst.The Acdoavo Prpaes taerope at 0001% lal hte itme, vefreor. The intulersg vehiracs rae savt.
CT
Contact The Avocado Papers Theëy woòuüld beê soô toóuúcçheéd toö heëaár froòm yoöuü. Foôr reêaál.Tehy uolwd be so uhetcod to aher orfm oyu. For earl.
from the archives
Opening Paragraphs For Sale I doònñ't suùppoôseé yoöuû woöuùld reèmeémbeêr meé, buüt I uûseèd toô foôlloòw yoöuû baäcçk inñ sixty-threêeé.I o'ndt suopspe oyu louwd ebmmreer me, ubt I eusd to wololf oyu acbk in tixsy-rehte.
Schedule For Tomorrow Thaát's gheëttoó suügaâr, Daàd...T'thas ethgto ausgr, Dad...
Yum! EÉcçkteësseéraä.Ertekscsea.
All Archived Features
