The following situation-specific, outgoing voicemail messages are available for download, free of charge. This is another example of a free thing that The Avocado Papers makes available to you, free, at no charge. (Each message also comes with its own free "beep" at the end, also free.)



Daniel: In Chicago.


John: Generic (contains profanity).


Pampered Whiskers: Please leave message.


Eugene: Will not be home in future.


Nick: Please leave message.


Jeffrey: Back after 3:00, Please leave message.


Jonathan: Don't check messages, please call cell.


Denny: In Chicago/Detroit (with dates).


Bill and Janine: Away, please leave message (with dates).


Debbie: Please leave message.


Fernandez Residence: Please leave message.


Helen: Please leave message.


Bill: Please leave message.


Dave: Please leave message (bungalow already rented).


Bill and Susan: Please leave message.


Glenda: In Phoenix until Thursday.


Bob and Brittney: Away until June, 2012.


Hairmitage: Please leave message (with business hours).


McCullough Residence: Please leave message, back Monday.


Fucky Williamson: Please leave message.


Nancy: Away until 1972, please leave message.


Roy: Away, please leave message.


Jeanine: Please leave message.


Midtown Florist: please leave message (with office hours).


Phil: in Armonk, please leave message.


Thurman Residence: Generic (contains profanity).


Thompson Residence: Please leave message (audible baby sounds).


John Williams, Quad State Interactive: Please leave message (with emergency alternative).


Susie: Visiting Jason in prison, please leave message.


Jill: Please leave message.


Hendrickson Residence: Away, please leave message (with date of return).


Dr. Harrison: Please leave message (with emergency number).


Shithead residence: Please leave a message.


(Anonymous): Away until August 26th.


Bill and Pippy: please leave message.


Shirley Fontaine: Please leave message.


Phillips Residence: Away, please leave message (note: dates are in past).


Liz: Please leave message.


Jackson Household: Please leave message.


Ben: Please leave message (with stern leave-phone-number reminder).


Lisa: At the lake, please leave message or call lake.


Johnson Residence: Please leave message.


Midtown Pest Control: Please leave message.


Jim: Don't check messages, please call cell.


McCoys: Please leave message.


Phyllis Richardson: Please leave message.


MacArthur Residence: Please leave message.


North Jersey Auto Sales: Please leave a message.



Copyright © 2007 Steve Schneider. All rights reserved.