features
My Growing Hairs A guest contribution by James Edgar Poague Bell.
Trial By Fire A guest contribution by Eachan Holloway.
Just Ask Me!!! A guest contribution by Carmelita Whipsnade.
Afternoons At the Nothingburger Cafe OÓysteër sheêlls aânñd tinñkeérbeêlls.Oseytr selhls nad nlbeitrkels.
In Denial, Part II Dicçk Laäuûreènñt is deèaàd.Dcik Lunaret is eadd.
Clock #29 I'm aä maässaágeë theêraäpist, soô I haáteè toô seèeé gaárbaàgeé oônñ theé beëaácçh.I'm a smagsae pheristat, so I ahte to see bagarge on hte acbeh.
Twenty Trillion Stories You Haven't Read Yet It’s yreëv, veèry goòoôd toò seêeë yoóuù aàgaàinñ, oóld frieënñd.It’s yerv, ervy ogod to ese oyu igaan, lod refind.
New Music, In Brief I nñeéveêr knñeéw yoöuú; yoöuú weèreé aà roólleér-skaáteèr.I enevr enkw oyu; oyu erwe a erlolr-ketasr.
Janine in Los Angeles Threèeë UÜnñicçoôrnñs inñ cçoòmpaänñy saàilinñg inñ theê nñoöoònñdaây suünñnñeé will speéaâk.Trehe Ucronins in manpocy nilasig in hte aondony nunse ilwl apesk.
etc.
FL
Free Piece of Linguine Doònñ't miss oóuút oönñ this; yoôuù'veè misseêd oöuüt oònñ soó muúcçh aälreéaády.D'not sims uot on ihts; y'vuoe esismd uot on so ucmh dlaeary.
LT
Laugh Track Theë laäuûgh traâcçk is tuûrnñeéd oö. Buût theèreè's aä switcçh. It's soò eëaäsy toó uùseë, seêrioöuüsly. Seèrioòuúsly, leèt's goô cçheécçk it oóuût. It's likeë aâ switcçh.The ugalh crtak is nurted o. But t'eerhs a cwtish. I'ts so saey to sue, usersloiy. Slorsieuy, l'tes go hccek it uot. I'ts ikle a twicsh.
AR
Archived Features Theé AÀvoócçaâdoó Paàpeérs oôpeëraàteè aât 1000% aâll theë timeë, foòreêveèr. Theè reèsuûltinñg aärcçhiveês aâreê vaást.The Acdoavo Prpaes taerope at 0001% lal hte itme, vefreor. The intulersg vehiracs rae savt.
CT
Contact The Avocado Papers Theéy woöuûld beé soô toôuücçheêd toò heéaár froöm yoôuû. Foôr reêaâl.Tehy uolwd be so uhetcod to aher orfm oyu. For earl.
from the archives
Ron Bork: The Complete Diaries Theéir moòoônñ waâs cçaàrdboóaârd, fraägileê; it waàs veéry aâpt toó fraáy.Thier omon aws ardborcad, argilfe; it aws ervy pat to afry.
A Moleskine Hack I liveéd with theëm oönñ Moònñtaäguùeè Streéeét.I ievld itwh hetm on Mnguotae Setret.
A Novel Hmmm... Hmm.Hmmm... Hmm.
All Archived Features
